Smile
by lunartick
Summary: Oneshot. A short, pointless fic. No matter how hard he tries to avoid falling into Okita's pranks, Hijikata always fails. Non yaoi. Do review!


Hi people! This is my first PMK fic. Those who know me will be aware I usually write RK fics, mainly because I've only known PMK for a week! But I love this manga! Unfortunately, I've only read the first four books of the second series, Peacemaker Kurogane, so I'm not very familiar with plot and character (but I already love Okita). So if I made any mistakes, do forgive me!

Anyway, do Read and Review ok! This is a non-yaoi, rather pointless fic.

Oh, and I don't own PMK, 'cos if I did, Okita would have a girlfriend named lunartick, and he wouldn't die from TB, but live to the ripe old age of 97.

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**Smile **

Okita grinned, looking at Hijikata out of the corner of his eyes. Suspicious eyes met his, and he waved cheerfully.

Muttering obscenities, the older man returned to whatever he was writing, trying to ignore the little sprite sitting just inside his room.

There was a short burst of poorly muffled giggles and a protesting snort from a certain piglet as his master bent over, shaking with mirth. Yet again, Hijikata looked up abruptly and glared at his friend. Okita merely met him with a wide-eyed innocent stare that would have been totally convincing had his lips not been grinning widely.

"What?" Hijikata demanded irritably from his position at his table.

"Nothing," Okita replied innocently, patting Saizou. "Is something wrong?"

Grumbling, Hijikata dropped his head and tried to concentrate on his writings. Yet again, he was interrupted when Okita burst into another bout of laughter, this time, not even bothering to mask the clear burst of joy. His head shot up again, and he fixed Okita with a glare.

"Hmm?" Okita questioned, looking for all the world like a innocent little child.

Hijikata grunted and returned to his work, jabbing his brush viciously into the ink tray.

Another giggle.

Ignored.

Another giggle.

Still ignored.

Another giggle.

Hijikata's head shot up so fast Saizou squealed in surprise.

Okita had to cover his face with his hand to hide his smile. The look on Hijikata's face was priceless. "Confess," the older man snapped, his face twisted with suspicion and paranoia, "what did you do this time?"

"What _did_ I do?" Okita asked, tilting his head like a little bird. "Hmm… I woke up, washed my face, ate breakfast…"

"That's not what I meant!" Hijikata snapped. "Why are you smiling like that?"

"Smiling? My smiles disturbs you? My, my." The smile vanished to be replaced by a mock solemn look. "Better?"

Growling, Hijikata turned his attention back to his table, his eyes roving over the entire surface. His ink hadn't been messed with (that he had checked the moment he entered his room to see Okita perched in one corner of the room, smiling sweetly), his brushes and paper were all there, the documents weren't messy, his pipe was still…

Grabbing the pipe, he sniffed suspiciously at the contents. Nope; it was tobacco alright. He shot a glare at Okita as the young man tried to stifle a giggle.

Every single hitokiri instinct within him warning him of danger, he looked under the table and in the cushion rather cautiously, half expecting to be greeted by a puff of flour to his face. There was nothing there.

"Confess," he snapped, extracting himself from under the table, "What prank are you pulling right now?"

Okita merely smiled. "Prank?" he asked innocently. "Am I pulling a prank now?"

"Stop answering my questions with questions!"

"Questions? I'm answering your questions with questions?"

"Souji," Hijikata growled warningly. "Don't make me force Yamazaki to torture the information out of you."

An almost convincing pout formed over Okita's face. "But I didn't do anything," he sulked. Unfortunately for him, he couldn't quite keep up the façade, and his smile erupted again.

Too nervous to work now, Hijikata climbed to his feet and paced the room, his pipe stuck in his mouth. His eyes scanned the entire room uneasily, wondering if a bucket of water was going to fall from the ceiling and hit him or if one of the floor boards would suddenly collapse under his feet and leave him stuck waist deep in the floor. That would give Tetsunosuke something to laugh about. Abruptly, he sat back down at the table, suddenly uncertain about which parts of the room were safe to step on.

Twitching fretfully, he shot Okita a death glare. Much to his annoyance, the pig gave him a rather condescending grunt. "At least you're safe," he muttered under his breath, "Souji doesn't pull pranks on _you._"

"I pull pranks on you?" Okita piped up, apparently having heard. "Who are you talking to, Hijikata-san? Have you inherited Saitou-san's special supernatural powers?" He grinned cheerfully as Hijikata started to establish a very intimate relationship between his head and the table.

"I am going to work now," Hijikata growled, having killed off half the brain cells in his head, "and if you so much as make a noise, and that includes that thing you're holding, I will drag you out into the courtyard and execute you."

Okita tilted his head and smiled. "You mean if I or Saizou makes a noise, you'll drag me out and execute me, regardless of who made the noise?"

Rubbing the bridge of his nose, Hijikata groaned. "Just shut up, ok?" When he was greeted by silence, he returned to his work cheerfully (or as cheerfully as the demon vice-commander could).

The silence dragged on, and the words zipped past successfully. Hijikata almost smiled to himself. Finally! Some peace and quiet on this wonderful day! And, he was actually doing some work. Once he was done with this mundane paperwork, he would be able to move on to the more important stuff, like practicing ken-jutsu or bullying Tetsu. Ah, yes! The wonders of silence! The soft, soothing, undeniable lack of… it was too bloody quiet.

Suspiciously, he raised eyes and glared at Okita. His friend was seated exactly where he had been just now. Even the pig hadn't seemed to have moved at all. As far as he could tell, Okita wasn't up to anything. He was just sitting there, legs swinging outside, arms cuddling Saizou…

And still smiling.

"Stop that."

"Stop what?"

"Stop smiling!"

Okita shot Hijikata an innocently puzzled look. "Stop smiling?"

"Stop repeating me! You heard me!"

"But you must explain yourself," Okita grinned, "Smiling doesn't make any noise, so it shouldn't be bothering you, right?" There was a slight emphasis on the last word that threw him off.

"Are you going to steal my haiku books again?" Hijikata asked, trying to keep the tremble of disquiet out of his voice. His nervousness increased when he was answered only with a smile. "You are, aren't you?"

"I didn't say that," Okita replied innocently,

"Come on," Hijikata (almost) pleaded, "what are you up to?"

"Hmm?"

"Don't 'hmm' me!"

"What?"

"Souji, I am warning…"

"Hijikata-san?" Hijikata jumped as a figure suddenly appeared inside the door.

"Yamazaki-san!" Okita greeted cheerfully.

"Yamazaki," Hijikata muttered, "what's it?"

The shinobi shot him a mildly bemused look. "You wanted the information on the movement of the Choshu clans," Susumu began than glanced uneasily at Okita as the young man started to giggle.

"Ignore him," Hijikata snapped, "he's planning something. Sit here and report." Yamazaki leveled a glance at the spot in front of the desk his superior had indicated, and weighed the pros and cons of sitting at that spot after having been informed that Okita Souji was planning something.

"Go on," Okita said suddenly, smiling endearingly, "go and sit. Hijikata wouldn't eat you, don't worry." Yamazaki barely managed to stop himself from commenting that it wasn't Hijikata he was worried about.

Hesitantly, the shinobi made his way to the indicated spot and sat down cautiously. He closed his eyes and wondered briefly if he would still be able to remain calm in the face of the humiliation he would feel should a stack of flour suddenly explode over his head.

"Report," Hijikata ordered.

Slowly, Yamazaki opened his eyes, and was more than a little glad to discover he wasn't covered in flour… or something worse. Without giving any indication of his apprehension, he did as ordered. "There are several high ranking members of the Choshu clan that have entered Kyoto," he reported, "they…" He was interrupted again by slightly muffled giggles. He shot Okita a startled glare.

"Oh, don't mind me," Okita chirped, "just telling Saizou a joke." The piglet grunted obligingly.

"They," Yamazaki continued, watching the twitch in Hijikata's eyebrow with fascination, "have sneaked into Kyoto in a variety of…"

Without warning, his superior shot to his feet. Yamazaki had to grip his knees to prevent himself from grabbing his kunais and destroying every single living thing within two miles of him out of sheer fright.

"Tetsunosuke!" Hijikata roared out of the door. "Get in here with my tea!" Okita giggled again, and Hijikata shot him an agitated look. "And shut up!" he snapped before storming back to his table. "Continue!"

Yamazaki swallowed, and wondered if the beads of perspiration dripping down the side of his face were obvious. "They have sneaked into Kyoto in a variety of ways," he continued, "one way is the sea route. They disguise themselves as…"

"Tea!"

Okita moved smoothly out of the way as Tetsunosuke came running into the room, holding a cup of tea. Upon spotting his friend, he half-turned to greet him, only to miss the pig sitting on the floor.

Stumbling heavily, Tetsu tripped over the pig, his arms flying out dramatically. "Oh no!" he cried as the tray left his hands.

Yamazaki looked up in the rapidly enlarging cup that was hurling towards his head. Briefly, he considered whether moving to the left, right or behind was the appropriate move. He quickly dismissed moving to the right, as that would mean being splashed with tea. So, the question remained as to whether to move to the left or to wriggle (in a rather undignified manner) backwards. However, upon looking up at the speedily descending cup again, he decided that it really didn't matter.

Gracefully, he moved to the side – then watched with mild apprehension as the cup made contact with his superior's forehead.

Tetsu froze.

Okita froze – then giggled.

Hijikata leapt to his feet. "Ichimura Tetsunosuke!" he roared.

"I'm sorry!" Tetsu cried, bowing as deeply as possible with his eyes fixed in terror on Hijikata's wet, and rapidly swelling forehead.

"You're sorry?" Hijikata roared. "I'll show you sorry!"

Okita laughed amusedly as Hijikata flew at his terrified page, who took off and ran for his life (rather stupidly, around the room). He got up and picked up Saizou, who looked a little put-off by the antics.

"Let's go, Saizou," he murmured comfortingly. "We don't want to be caught in the crossfire now, do we?" The pig grunted in confirmation.

"Okita-san, save me!" Tetsu screamed, diving and rolling under the table to avoid being be-headed by a brush.

"Oh, don't worry!" Okita called cheerfully. "Hijikata-san wouldn't hurt you – much." Grinning, he turned to go out of the door. As he left, he noticed Yamazaki making a swift exit via the ceiling boards.

Once outside, Okita grinned and slapped a rather puzzled Saizou a high-five. "What are you planning?" Hijikata had asked him, determined not to fall into another one of Okita's trap. What he hadn't known was that he had _already_ fallen into Okita's trap. And he wasn't the only one; even Yamazaki, the usually stoic shinobi had fallen into his trap.

"Hey, Okita-san!"

Still lost in his victory, Okita looked up and grinned. "Hello, Nakagura-san!" he chirped.

The short red-head gave him a baffled, but amused look. "Ok, what did you pull off on Hijikata-san now," he demanded, grinning widely.

"What did I pull off?" Okita asked innocently. "What are you talking about, Nakagura-san?"

The Second Unit Captain's grin widened. "Come on, Okita-san, don't play innocent with me," he pleaded curiously, "I can hear Hijikata-san yelling his head off, and I see Yamazaki-san trying to look inconspicuous while climbing on the roof in his nice, beige yukata. What did you do?"

Okita laughed. "I merely smiled," he said.

"Smiled?"

"Oh, it's marvelous what you can do with a smile," Okita said, patting Saizou affectionately, "You can delight, you can confuse, or you can even induce paranoia, all just by smiling." Flashing one of his trademark ones, Okita waved and moved off, leaving a rather confused Shinpachi behind.

On the roof, Yamazaki sat down and slowly started to plan out his resume for his (intended) transfer to another division, ideally on the other side of Japan.

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Ha ha. Good, bad, ugly? Do tell! If you can't figure out what was the prank Okita pulled off, just ask… ha ha.


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